Once you have noticed the tension within your body try this exercise to calm your emotions down.
Calm yourself down
Breathing is a way for men who use violence or abuse to help calm themselves down or manage strong or overwhelming feelings.
Breathing exercises are really useful if you feel very uptight, tense, panicky, or angry.
Here is a simple breathing exercise you can do whenever you need to.
Square Breathing
- Breathe in slowly for four seconds. Count the seconds off in your head.
- Hold your breath for four seconds. Count the seconds off in your head.
- Breathe out slowly for four seconds. Count the seconds off in your head.
- Hold your breath for four seconds. Count the seconds off in your head.
Repeat for as long as you need or want to do the exercise.
If you find yourself getting short of breath, start with three seconds and work your way up to four.
After doing this exercise you should feel a bit better and calmer. The strong feelings should have gone down, at least for a moment.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do I feel less swept away by feelings or painful thoughts and memories?
- Is it easier to be focused and ‘present’ right now?
- Do I have more control over my actions – my body, my behaviour and my thoughts?
This exercise will probably not make the feeling go away completely. It might just make you feel a bit better for a short while.
If the strong feelings return, do the exercise again.